


Nameless

by pengada



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben has a natural connection to someone, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Soulmates, Soulmates, and is frustrated about it, doesn't know where they are, who he doesn't know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:28:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22300108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pengada/pseuds/pengada
Summary: They say force users and those who are force sensitive are drawn to each other by some very tangled thread of fate. Some find the other side easily, without much fight, but not much in Ben's life has ever been easy - has it?
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Ben Solo/Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Nameless

For as long as Ben could remember, he was connected to a nameless girl. He knew everything else about her, but not her name. He knew the way her laugh sounded, echoing in his brain in quiet moments, the way her room smelled of burning candles during the winter, the heavy sighs when she was having trouble falling asleep.

The most absolute thing about this was that she ignored him. Or, maybe he was convinced of that in the beginning. He tried - Gods did he try - to talk to her, interact with her world, cradle her face when she was crying, but he couldn't. With no real explanation why. He didn't get it. The longer he tried, the more frustrated he became. He started to scream, thrash, he was angry! This had to be her, the girl who he was tied to, and she was ignoring him. How dare she? 

But even in his anger, the realization was slowly creeping up on him. It wasn't that she didn't want to, or was willingly ignoring his calls for attention and his pleas for company, it was simply that she couldn't. It broke him just a little more than he already was. Dropped to his knees in his room, hands covering his face, he let himself cry. Ben wasn't stupid by any stretch, he understood what this connection was. A cruel twist of fate. While others with full fledged connections to the Force, or even those who were just sensitive, could find their soulmate through glimpses and short conversations - here he was. With a soulmate who he was forced to watch through a window.

He had taken notes of things that she liked. Apple scented candles, the warmth of the sun but more so after it had rained, listening to music while she went fishing. She wasn't very good at fishing, but he supposed she just liked the peace. He remembered things she didn't like, too. She hated her own writing, despite doing it nearly every day, and would take piles of things she was dissatisfied with and burn them. Those days she seemed the most alone - even if he was there with her.

There was a day that he almost swore she knew he was there. The fire burned in a makeshift fire pit in her backyard, she was curled up a few feet away, eyes nearly shut to protect from the smoke that occasionally blew toward her. All of his surroundings had melted around him and he felt like he was truly standing behind next to her. (He vaguely wondered later on - did her clothes smell like his did after this night? Like smoke and wood, with flecks of soot when the wind blew unexpectedly hard toward them?) 

"I'm sorry you hate your writing," he started watching her carefully as he sat down with one leg extended and the other crossed. He was almost touching her, but there was still a nervousness preventing him from doing so. "I'm sorry you have to feel alone as I do in the world." And then, her head shifted to the right, eyes unfocused, but staring... maybe through him and not quite at him. 

Her head shook very slightly before returning her gaze to the fire. To her, it was nothing. Her imagination. Maybe the fire had hit a damp spot in the wood and it caused a noise she couldn't explain. Ben swallowed thickly. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe she didn't hear him. Couldn't have. She hadn't yet and there was nothing different now. He stood, and the world around him once again melted away and he was back in his own chambers.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written really early in the morning, and rewritten once and I'm stuck, but I want to post it because I've gotten enough good feedback on it from some friends.
> 
> Let me know what you think!


End file.
